why halloween scares the crap out of me

Happy Halloween | The Pomegranate Bandit

This Halloween is extra special because last night the Red Sox won the World Series!! I’m not going to pretend to be a diehard fan and I don’t deny the fact that I watched no more than two games the whole season, but I can still be proud!

Anyway, let’s chat about this gluttonous holiday we have here in the ole’ U-S-of-A. Halloween was my favorite holiday for the majority of my 25 years on this earth. The candy, the costumes, the parties…loved it. Until I got older and realized candy is not so good on the thighs. If you’re a normal person, you probably love Halloween and dress up and eat lots of candy and love looking at the adorable little children in their costumes. If you’re anything like me, you dread this holiday because it comes with lots of anxiety. Halloween just isn’t fun anymore…it’s kind of sad. I’m sure when I have my own kids that will change but for now…this is why this holiday now terrifies me:

1. Candy

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the treats. But usually some sort of healthy baked thing or froyo. The candy is just so bad for you, and the way it makes me sick proves that, so I avoid it. If it’s not in the house, I won’t eat it. But every year, two weeks before Halloween, it haunts me. It finds its way into my mouth, now matter how hard I fight it.

halloween candy | The Pomegranate Bandit

It’s like your 21st birthday. You don’t want to drink yourself into oblivion, but you do anyway and your sick the next day. Candy is like alcohol but the effects are faster and the repercussions happen ten minutes after you eat it instead of ten hours. Did you know sugar has been scientifically proven to be as addicting as cocaine? [article] That explains it!

2. Children

Confession time…I’m terrified of children. I don’t know why. But this recent fear increases with each Halloween. Something about a wild mob of costumed children racing to my door demanding candy just makes me nervous. And what am I supposed to say to them? “Cool costume?” Or do I pretend to believe that the real Batman is standing before me on my front porch? “Wow Batman, you’re a lot taller in the movie…”

So now you know why I dread this beloved holiday. I’m gonna go plan my escape from the children…everyone have a safe Halloween! (and by safe I mean don’t snort cocaine because apparently sugar has the same effect. But don’t snort sugar. I shouldn’t have to tell you that…)

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